This was originally posted on my Facebook page. Since a lot of people posted their reactions, I figured I should put it here too.

Dear Friend:

Having a relationship is a wonderful thing. But I would like to caution you. If and when there is a slim chance that yours will end up in a bunker one day, do remember these very, very important things I want to tell you:

1. Switch coffee shops - that way you will not cry over spilled Starbucks coffee
2. Delete that shared Facebook and Twitter account IMMEDIATELY - that way you won't recover those pics
3. Fuck someone right away - that way you'll also feel like you cheated on your partner
4. Delete your partner's contact number and suffer from self-inflicted amnesia - self-explanatory
5. You are allowed to have occasional visits to his/her Friendster or Facebook page but never send friend request again. EVER.

Most importantly, five to ten years from now - if you find someone MORE special than your current partner or most recent ex, NEVER call your Exes to thank them for helping you change your life or share how much you've changed or hand out invitations for your wedding next week. When you bump into an ex one of these days, you look into his/her eyes, smile and walk away - move forward - because that's what failed relationships are really for: moving on.

Lastly, just FUCK OFF.

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